Today is one of those days that I just don't want to be a Mom. I want to be selfish and single with only myself to think about. I know there are a thousand and one reasons why I will not feel like this tomorrow, but just for today I do.
I am burnt out with the needs of others. The cooking, cleaning, the stopping of silly fights. Listening to all the reasons why I am wrong, mean and selfish. Yes, I am so selfish....my kids get the hot baths....I have a luke warm shower. Even if they have been fed my kids always seem to find room for what ever it is I am having, even if it is the same thing they just complained about not liking. The impossible to keep clean house, the nasty pee stains off the toilet, wall and floor. The nasty dirty clothes, sheets and towels.
Not to mention that when Daddy, wonderful and honestly not in trouble this time Daddy, returns from work even he is in NEED. It is never enough and it never ends. That is for all of them. How many hugs and kisses have I given to day? More than I have received.
When I do take a little bit of time to myself I am told I am being selfish and negligent. REALLY????!!!! And for all of this do I get help, or a relief from family? Not very often. And seeing as none but one of them even bother to actually read my family blog, I don't worry about posting this. Some times it would be nice to hear..."You know what Amy, you work so hard and you really do have some pretty well behaved kids. Why don't you and Bryan go away for the weekend and we'll take the kids for you."
Ok, now I am going to get myself into trouble. I just feel so exiled some times. That is from ALL sides of family. grrrr I am really being selfish and spoiled here. Sometimes venting can get carried away and do more damage than good.
So after all of that complaining....:) Katie just came down here and told me how much she loves how much I do for her. So now I am crying and feeling very ungrateful myself.
I think I just need a girls night out. :)
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7 comments:
As I was reading this I kept thinking "Amy needs a girl's night". Sorry I can't throw one for you.
My solution to feeling like this has always been to take some time off. Moms never get weekends to recuperate from their job. Tell Brian you need an afternoon and/or evening; then go buy something pretty for yourself, go to a movie, out to dinner someplace he doesn't like to go. Go by yourself or with a girlfriend, whichever fits your personality. It always makes me feel better.
Remember President Uchtdorf's council, that when you feel overwhelmed with the daily stresses of being a wife and mother; create something. It always helps me.
Thanks Heidi, actually I haven't painted in a very long time. Maybe I need a break from homework and paint for a bit.
I wish I could help! I would so take the kids, even with my own 4 for a weekend. We need a night out! Just me and you, take a cruise (in a car), and just....GO. We'd have so much fun! No kids, no husbands, no worry's... and we'd definitely NOT go the route of Thelma and Louise. LOL Let's go get some cold stone ice cream and go to a movie and then to lunch at our favorite restaurant (mines Olive Garden... what's yours?) Oh yeah, it's probably In-and-Out! lol You never get enough of that! And I can actually eat there too! Let's do it!
Oh yeah, I forgot something... You ARE a good mother! And thank you for being a good Aunty and a GREAT SISTER-IN-LAW! I love you AMY! Alright, alright, enough mushy stuff. See ya in a month!
Oh Amy! I have been there. It shall come to pass, I promise. Then you will have different things to stress about like Justin who is 17 got his girlfriend pregnant. She is due Oct 30th. Travis has left the church and is headed to Afghanistan with the Army Reserve. So cheer up! I think I would rather scrub a commode then worry about my son being shot or my other son's girlfriend!
Love and Miss Ya!
Sherry Hone
Come girl's night out-it with me. I wish I had kids.
Good for you Amy. Releasing the pressure valve a little bit is sometimes the best thing you can do. I hope you get some time to yourself soon. It is not selfish to keep youself spiritually, mentally, physically, and emotinally healthy while being a mom. Imagine how much better you feel after just 15 minutes to yourself. Grab the sanity when you can girl! You'll be a better wife and mom for it.
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