Friday, April 1, 2011

Not here to impress.

Ok, I am just sick of my kids. Sorry I know those are the forbidden words for a Mother to ever utter, but...what ever. Some days I am just tired of the whining, crying and fighting. I get tired of give, give, give and then I get very little back. Ya, it is selfish, but once and I while I need to be. Mother's day just isn't enough. Besides my birthday is the week after Mothers day, so everyone thinks I should be ok with just combining the two. NO WAY!!! I only get two days to be selfish a year and I want TWO SEPARATE days. Is that wrong for me to ask? Honestly is it?
I don't exactly have family I can just drop off my kids and go play. Well I take that back, my Sister-in-law is always willing and I try not to over use her. Still it is expensive to hire a sitter for 4 kids. So I just don't get out. Times like this make me really appreciate my Mother. lol She has six of us little monsters, and I know we weren't easy.
Being a Mom is just one of those things that I don't think we really ever truly can prepare for. I thought I knew how I would be. Patient, playful, attentive, loving, and oh so clean. HAH!!! I may be all of those things once and a while but never all at once. It is difficult not to slap the 4 year old who is crying because the 6 year old touched her. Then the 9 year old is lecturing them both because she knows everything. Meanwhile the 2 year old is up coloring on the wall. Then when I tell someone about the 2 year old coloring on the wall they give me this look like "well that's what happens when you don't watch your kids".


So my hope is that I never forget. I don't want to be that judgemental woman who looks in disgust at a little kid throwing an absolute fit in the store. I don't want to have the thought of why the Mother can't control the child or why is the child such a brat. Maybe, just maybe the Mother can't control the child cause if she actually disciplines the child in public then there is worse criticism assuming abuse. Yep, being a Mother is hard. We need more than just one day. It should be a celebration every quarter. Yah, that sounds good. Every three months I get a day off. Why....well if nothing else I DIDN'T kill any of them. haha

I say all of this but then I see them doing something so innocent and sweet. Then all of that frustration melts away with love. Funny how that works huh. I know one day they will be all grown and I will miss them. But that is not today. If I get it off my chest then I am actually a better Mom, so I will blog it. lol