Friday, April 1, 2011

Not here to impress.

Ok, I am just sick of my kids. Sorry I know those are the forbidden words for a Mother to ever utter, but...what ever. Some days I am just tired of the whining, crying and fighting. I get tired of give, give, give and then I get very little back. Ya, it is selfish, but once and I while I need to be. Mother's day just isn't enough. Besides my birthday is the week after Mothers day, so everyone thinks I should be ok with just combining the two. NO WAY!!! I only get two days to be selfish a year and I want TWO SEPARATE days. Is that wrong for me to ask? Honestly is it?
I don't exactly have family I can just drop off my kids and go play. Well I take that back, my Sister-in-law is always willing and I try not to over use her. Still it is expensive to hire a sitter for 4 kids. So I just don't get out. Times like this make me really appreciate my Mother. lol She has six of us little monsters, and I know we weren't easy.
Being a Mom is just one of those things that I don't think we really ever truly can prepare for. I thought I knew how I would be. Patient, playful, attentive, loving, and oh so clean. HAH!!! I may be all of those things once and a while but never all at once. It is difficult not to slap the 4 year old who is crying because the 6 year old touched her. Then the 9 year old is lecturing them both because she knows everything. Meanwhile the 2 year old is up coloring on the wall. Then when I tell someone about the 2 year old coloring on the wall they give me this look like "well that's what happens when you don't watch your kids".


So my hope is that I never forget. I don't want to be that judgemental woman who looks in disgust at a little kid throwing an absolute fit in the store. I don't want to have the thought of why the Mother can't control the child or why is the child such a brat. Maybe, just maybe the Mother can't control the child cause if she actually disciplines the child in public then there is worse criticism assuming abuse. Yep, being a Mother is hard. We need more than just one day. It should be a celebration every quarter. Yah, that sounds good. Every three months I get a day off. Why....well if nothing else I DIDN'T kill any of them. haha

I say all of this but then I see them doing something so innocent and sweet. Then all of that frustration melts away with love. Funny how that works huh. I know one day they will be all grown and I will miss them. But that is not today. If I get it off my chest then I am actually a better Mom, so I will blog it. lol

1 comment:

Heather said...

You are doing a great job, Amy. I feel exactly the same way sometimes too! It really is the little things that can become BIG THINGS... But if we take the time, and the 'heaven forbid' patience it takes raising the little critters, it will all be worth it in the end... Besides, one of our kids has got to let us live with them when we are old! lol