Things to remember.

Things to remember:

My children asleep, they are so angelic.
Bryan on the floor with four babies sitting on his tummy playing motorcycle. :)
The way my house sounds when the wind blows, it's like being in the woods.
The warmth of the sun.
The way little ones hum while playing quietly.
Baby kisses, their soft little toot less mouths are so sweet.
The way Bryan's eyes twinkle when he flirts with me.
The way Bryan's eyes twinkle when talking to his little girls. It is different but the same. :)
How my boys cuddle me like they will never get enough. (I know that may not last)
The giggle of little girls.
When boys play they make noises, not words but sounds. :)
Wet, suntanned little ones, playing in the sprinklers.
Cold, wet children hugging my hot skin to get warm.

For now I just wanted to remember these things. This all happened today. All of this happiness in just one day. So today I am very grateful. See it there is always something to look forward to. I just needed to be patient.

Just me complaining. :)

Today is one of those days that I just don't want to be a Mom. I want to be selfish and single with only myself to think about. I know there are a thousand and one reasons why I will not feel like this tomorrow, but just for today I do.

I am burnt out with the needs of others. The cooking, cleaning, the stopping of silly fights. Listening to all the reasons why I am wrong, mean and selfish. Yes, I am so selfish....my kids get the hot baths....I have a luke warm shower. Even if they have been fed my kids always seem to find room for what ever it is I am having, even if it is the same thing they just complained about not liking. The impossible to keep clean house, the nasty pee stains off the toilet, wall and floor. The nasty dirty clothes, sheets and towels.

Not to mention that when Daddy, wonderful and honestly not in trouble this time Daddy, returns from work even he is in NEED. It is never enough and it never ends. That is for all of them. How many hugs and kisses have I given to day? More than I have received.

When I do take a little bit of time to myself I am told I am being selfish and negligent. REALLY????!!!! And for all of this do I get help, or a relief from family? Not very often. And seeing as none but one of them even bother to actually read my family blog, I don't worry about posting this. Some times it would be nice to hear..."You know what Amy, you work so hard and you really do have some pretty well behaved kids. Why don't you and Bryan go away for the weekend and we'll take the kids for you."

Ok, now I am going to get myself into trouble. I just feel so exiled some times. That is from ALL sides of family. grrrr I am really being selfish and spoiled here. Sometimes venting can get carried away and do more damage than good.

So after all of that complaining....:) Katie just came down here and told me how much she loves how much I do for her. So now I am crying and feeling very ungrateful myself.

I think I just need a girls night out. :)